Dirty martini, please.

Do you like your martinis dirty? Do you like a garnish on a toothpick? Do you like a jar full of pimento-filled balls? Yes? Then you're living the olive lifestyle and boy do we have something for you. Breedwell's Olive Green Down Low Short is the latest addition to our more neutral, modest collection of resort shorts. Slide this buttery soft, stretch, heavy-knit short over those meaty thighs and beefy butt, and you'll feel snug as a bug in a rug. And with five pockets, you'll have room for all of your … olives.

These are sure to be slurped down quickly, so get yours now!